A Federal Budget Parable

A family sits around the table.


Dad: Well kids, we're hemorrhaging money, so we're going to have to cut back.

Jonny: But Dad, when you gave up your full time job and went down to part time, you told us we wouldn't have to sacrifice anything!

Dad: Well, Jonny, I didn't realize your mother's spending would be so irresponsible.

Mom: Excuse me? I haven't changed my spending habits at all. The difference is that you spent $50,000 on 12 guns and full body armor for all of us!

Dad: I needed that weaponry to protect us from the neighbors. They're Arabs, after all.

Jonny: But you bought it on credit right after you quit the full time job

Dad: Never mind that- the money's spent. The point is that we have to cut back. Jonny we're not signing you up for baseball this year- we can't afford it.

Jonny: AAAWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Mom: What if you just got your full time job back?

Dad: Cutting out baseball won't be enough. We have to cut down on our medical bills too.

Mom: OK, how about signing up for this new medical insurance plan that cuts bills by determining what care is cost-effective?

Dad: That'll never work! And it's rationing care. No, instead of that we're just going to stop going to the dentist.

Mom: Isn't that rationing too?

Dad: Stop confusing me with facts, woman! Medical care costs us more because we signed up for that prescription drug plan.

Mom: Yes, that plan is really good. But when you signed us up you didn't make any plans to pay for it. And it pays drug companies double the going price so it's more expensive than it should be.

Dad: Oh, you and your facts again! The point is that we have to cut spending. We're going to cancel that plan to fix the roof of the house. We can just keep changing the buckets that catch the leaking water.

Mom: Honey, we were making it just fine when you were working full time. Why don't you just go back to work? Then we can solve more than half of our budget problem.

Dad: You're not listening to me. It's like you want to go bankrupt!

Mom: But I have a solution! It worked 10 years ago, whereas your plan to make ends meet with only a part time job has never worked. But you won't even address my idea.

Dad: It's a good thing it's going to be my turn to run family finances after November 2012.

Jonny: But Dad, you were running our finances for 8 years.  When you started, you were putting money into my college fund and had enough for us to live on. Then you put all our money into your friend's bank and didn't make sure it was an FDIC-insured one, and we lost most of it. Mom has only had a couple of years to clean up the mess you left.

Dad: Yeah, but this time it'll be different.